C: "I left my computer for a while, and when I came back, I can't get back into it."
Me: "Does it say that only you or an administrator can unlock this computer?"
C: "No, it says that this computer is locked, and that only A.Smith or an administrator can unlock it."
Me: "I need the asset tag from that computer; it will start with 'MKGMIN-D-' and then have four numbers."
C: "...oh yeah, here it is... A00084653."
Me: ".....ah, no, that doesn't start with 'MKGMIN-D-'..."
Me: "I cannot connect to your laptop; I don't get any reply over the network from it either."
C: "......oh, it looks like it's not connected - it's not plugged in. Why is that? Why isn't this plugged in?"
Me: "...truly, I have no idea."
These people are sucking my will to live.