thinking

(no subject)

teacher asks a question: "there are four birds sitting on a wire and a gunshot goes off. how many birds are left?"
little johnny says "no birds are left because at the sound of the gunshot all of the birds will scatter."
teacher says "well actually, there are three birds left, but i like the way you think."
little johnny says "i have a question for you now."
teacher says "alright johnny what is it?"
little johnny asks "three woman are sitting on a park bench, they're all eating ice cream cones. the first one is licking it gently, the second one is biting the hell out of it and the third one is engulfing it in her face. which one's married?"
teacher blushes a little, gets a bit flustered and replies "the first one i would think."
johnny says "well actually, it's the one with a ring on her finger, but i like the way you think."
  • Current Music
    Zombie Girl - I Want It
thinking

(no subject)

A woman is in a grocery store and happens upon a grandpa and his poorly behaving 3 year-old grandson at every turn. It's obvious Gramps has hishands full with the kid screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle, same for fruit, cereal and soda. Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, 'Easy, Sammy, we won't be long -- easy, boy.' Another outburst, and she hears Gramps calmly say, 'It's okay, Sammy, just a couple more minutes and we'll be outta here -- hang in there.' At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Gramps again in a controlled voice is saying, 'Sammy, Sammy, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, Sammy.'

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where Gramps is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. 'You know, sir, it's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time,you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. Sammy is very lucky to have you for his grandpa.'

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Looking for a tech job? Come one, come all!

We're looking to hire for a newly acquired contract for various technical roles:
GEC 20081211-ATODD-8165 Help Desk Analyst Calgary, CA
GEC 20081211-ATODD-8166 Desktop Support Analyst Calgary, CA
GEC 20081211-ATODD-8167 Order Desk Associate (Shipping/Receiving) Calgary, CA
GEC 20081211-ATODD-8168 Access Management Analysts Calgary, CA
GEC 20081211-ATODD-8169 Problem Management Analyst Calgary, CA
GEC 20081211-ATODD-8170 Incident Management Analyst Calgary, CA
GEC 20081211-ATODD-8171 Change Management Analyst Calgary, CA
GEC 20081211-ATODD-8172 Service Management Analysts (Technical Support) Calgary, CA
GEC 20081223-ATODD-8216 Team Lead, Technical Support Resolution Calgary, CA
GEC 20081223-ATODD-8217 Team Lead, Technical Support Fulfilment Calgary, CA


https://compucom.hrdpt.com/cgi-bin/a/searchinternationaljobs.cgi and click the "Search Jobs!" button for more info.
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How exciting...

Today's list:

make a list
3 loads laundry
dishes
vacuum whole house
wash kitchen floor
clean the bathroom
ready the recycling
paint trim in bedroom basement
investigate carpet/flooring
work out
rearrange hall closet
put away X-mas tree/stuff

Well, not bad. There's still this evening.
  • Current Music
    XP8 and Sebastian Komor - Join In The Chant
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Oh kidlet...

Is there anyone local who is good at, or knows of someone who is good at, cutting children's hair? Kidlet decided that hers was a little too long for her liking and removed some of it with her craft scissors... it's in need of repair!
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(no subject)

Got back from Vancouver Island today. The jump went fairly well albeit not quite as planned; took the head off of a foam snowman though.

This is last year's pic:

Picture something like this, but plowing through Frosty's head as he sits atop the bus. I'll post some pix when they're available.