July 27th, 2001

new year's eve

There's jell-o in my bathtub, and it's talking to me...

Yeah... analyze that dream.

It's Friday!! Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday Friday!!! Hahaha! I know - I've really gotta learn to liven up...

Had my first shift at FolkFest last night. I got to do roving, which means wanderin' th' grounds, lookin' fer trubble an' crakin' skulz! Haha... whatever! It was a lot of fun, actually. There apparently weren't as many people there as expected, and the rest of the weekend should be much busier! After wandering around for a while, I realized I hadn't seen anyone I knew, or even recognized. I was just taking in breath to say so, when a buddy o' mine walks by and says hello... I gotta start buying lottery tickets and declaring (right at draw time) that I'm never gonna win "the big one".

Speaking of mental states (you were speaking about that, weren't you?), let's delve a bit into mine. Well, why not, dammit? It's my journal, after all... I think perhaps I'm experiencing abandonment issues. I'm feeling very alone; I have no one to talk to, no one to turn to, no one to go to when I have problems. I sit here, empty and useless. Is this all there is? Is this as good as it gets? Am I expecting too much? There's no guidance, no helping hand, no direction. My only friend is a machine that spits forth the chocolate and caffeine that keeps me anchored here; "free" it tells me, but I feel the price with each visit. There is no reason for this. I wish I could just end it all. No one would miss me anyway. I could just leave, and I doubt that anyone would care, or even notice.

No, it's true. All of it. Every word. I just checked... I'm the only living soul in the office. Why did I bother coming in today??

What kind of stupid expression is that, anyway...? Are there dead souls? Isn't a ghost a living soul that is without a body? How does one get a dead soul? Perhaps when a person dies, a spirit or soul is left; when the soul dies, a politician is left?

Lunch, it beckons me...
  • Current Music
    VNV Nation - Frika
new year's eve

(no subject)

Okay, so a pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey pal, do you know there is a steering wheel sticking out your pants?" to which the pirate replies, "Arrrrgh! I know, it's driving me nuts!"
  • Current Music
    Front Line Assembly - Bio-Mechanic