November 21st, 2001

new year's eve

Danger, Will Robinson!

A long time ago, in a galaxy not that far away, I had a few credit cards in my wallet. Yes, unfortunately, they were all mine. To make a long story short, I ended up canceling all my accounts and cutting up all my cards in an effort to save myself from eternal damnation... I paid off all debts, and have been operating off of my debit card since.

"Wouldn't it be nice to have some kind of backup, though," I thought to myself while I filled out a credit card application a few weeks ago. I mailed off my information in the postage paid envelope, and then promptly forgot about it.

Just the other day, I received an envelope sent from an address I did not recognize, and could not imagine what it would be in reference to. I quickly opened it to find that the society of such-and-such wanted me to donate money for their cause... "Next!"

Hurriedly, I opened a second envelope, again from an address that I did not recognize. Imagine my surprise to be reading a letter from the bank that I'd applied to for the credit card! The letter read something like this:

Dear Poor Soul,

We are pleased to have received your application for Credit Card 666. After reviewing your application, we must apologize when we say that you've been accepted! Welcome back to the land of temptation and damnation!

[insert more blather here]

[promote credit card here, despite already having been accepted]

Again, we would like to apologize for granting you this chance at financial ruin.

You are now eternally ours,
The Bank of Satan

(Please note that the wording may not have been exactly as presented here)

Sweet Jesus!  This is great! The first step in redigging my financial grave!

Oh, it won't be that bad... I'm sure I've learned my lesson, right? Having a huge debt and then getting laid off my job should have taught me a thing or two, right? I can handle this, right? I've had a couple of years of practice now of having the money first, since I've been using a debit card, right? I mean, really, what can I use it for that I haven't been using a debit card for?

.... shopping! ...uh oh...
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