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Sunday, September 29th, 2002
I was told tonight that... that I could have her over everyone... over her boyfriend, even. Made me feel ill - the chance of a betrayal like that. I mentioned the man, on more than one occasion - didn't seem to matter. I cannot do that. I would not want that done to me. I cannot do that...

The cat waits patiently for her food while I type. I'm almost dizzy... to even contemplate... I can't... this is... dizzy...

I feel sick by it.

She stares at me, purring... waiting... fine, dammit. Here's some food.

I haven't even taken my boots off yet... let alone my jacket. What the fuck?! For someone I thought so strong, she was extremely vulnerable tonight... vulnerable, yet on the offensive!! Willing to drop everything for me?!? What am I supposed to do with this....??

current mood: fucked

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