April 3rd, 2003


(no subject)

I'm not even sure what to write...

I stopped by me neighbour's place this eve, hoping beyong hope that she'd answer the door... she didn't. I went home alone - again... as usual. What's wrong with me? I get "looks", I get people "interested"... why doesn't it just seem to "click", like it used to?

My brother is home now... he brought me an Easter creme egg and a Caramilk egg too. What the fuck?? Easter creme eggs used to be the only ones... can we leave nothing as sacred?? Dammit, I'll eat it anyway, and 'they' know it. Bastards.

I feel disgusting... fat... like the mayor from "A Nightmare Before Christmas". my body just seems... large. I'm spilling over my shorts, and it doesn't please me at all. Yet, I still take in the chocolate. What a fucking ass I am.

I hope my teeth fall out... it would serve me right. Yay me - way to disregard myself.

I now hesitate to post this... suddenly my journal is filled with people I actually know in real life.

Ah, well... screw it! They signed up for this on their own accord; they can put up with what they find out.

Although, really, this was so much easier when I didn't have to face anybody later.
  • Current Music
    Bad Attitude - Why Am I Such An Ass

(no subject)

I should add to last night's entry that having "real life" people on my friends list is not a problem, per se... it's just an adjustment for me. I'm so used to "write-and-forget" that having things that I wrote about brought up later on can be somewhat of a surprise...

I have only one recollection about walking to work today - while crossing the train tracks, I wondered If I'd even checked to see if tonnes of steel were headed my way... other than that, I don't actually remember anything of the walk here. o.O

(no subject)

Yanked from genocidex...

You are the Broken EP. Passionate, intense, and
full of rage, you are probably disgusted by the
world in some way, and hate most everyone in
it. Your hatred may also be directed at
yourself. Find someone or something to love in
this world, or your angst will drive you

Which Nine Inch Nails album are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
  • Current Music
    NIN - Broken - Help Me I Am In Hell