Diskrepansi (diskrepansi) wrote,

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C: "I'm having some problems when I open Excel."

Me: "Are you getting any messages when you open it?"

C: "No, I don't get any messages. I get an error message that comes up, and then I get a browse window too..."

Me: [sigh] "So........ you're not getting any messages, but you're getting some messages? If I may be so bold, what is it about those things popping up on your screen that disqualifies them as the kind of 'messages' that I'd asked about?"

[42 minutes later...]


Hey intercitykitty, thanks for that new "DIE" key for my keyboard here... tho I don't think I hooked it up properly - they're still talkin' my ear off about things that have absolutely nothing to do with the actual problem. Thanks also go out to the wonderful people who put a mute button on this headset, so that I don't get fired for all the things I say when I'm on the phone...

I should just start to play their game, methinks, and blame things that also have absolutely nothing to do with the problem.

"Yeah, we've been getting a few calls about that... someone overcooked their potato in the microwave earlier today, and those sponges that keep getting stuck to the tiles over the sink eventually dry up and fall off. I'll vigorously pet my cat when I get home and make sure that I blow all her loose hair evenly around my living room, and then you should be all good again!"


This weekend was actually pretty good! Didn't go to the bar at all! *gasp* *cough* I know, I know... but don't worry - I've checked my temperature... still seems to be in the 'normal' range. ...let's not discuss the psych evaluation - I still say they're just making all that shit up. I did, however, help out with prepping and painting a car! First coat only, of course. We'll be working more on that tomorrow. Things gleaned from this experience:

  • Not only do those gasmasks cut out most of that nauseating smell, but they also leave neat red marks and provide interesting contours for the paint markings on your face when you're done! All this and you can pretend that, after a vigorous sabre fight, you're telling someone for the first time that you... are their father!
  • The term "coverall" is a bit of a misnomer - see the above point.
  • Laying newspaper down so that you don't get paint sprayed all over the floor may, at first, seem like a good idea; you will quickly find out, however, that this lovely ground cover gets sticky as it becomes lightly covered in paint. While I'm sure that many of you will think that walking around with newspaper pages attached to the soles of your boots is "neat", "trendy" or "cool", I'm here to tell you that it gets rather annoying rather quickly.
  • Painting your friend's poodle a lovely shade of red is, apparently, a source of much distress... the poodle didn't seem too happy either. I don't see what the big deal is - I'm sure it'll look just great when it dries.
  • I firmly believe that the industrial revolution could never have happened without the advent of duct tape.
  • Turpentine does not leave your skin feeling clean and refreshed, even though it does cause somewhat of a tingle.

P*orn Star Quote of the Week
"I offer myself to Saddam in exchange for world peace. I would do it holding my nose and closing my eyes. I would do it for peace."
- Italian porn star "La Cicciolina," taking a tactic the U.N. never thought of.

  • (no subject)

    Wow... haven't been here in a while.

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