A young woman is lying in her bed. She has been handcuffed to the headboard by her roommate, and the front door has been left slightly open. The plan: to have her lover-to-be come over that night and find her waiting there for him. While she waits, she falls asleep...
...only to be slowly awakened later by someone on top of her, making love to her. Believing it to be her new lover, she is slow to wake, caught in a sensual dreamland. When she does open her eyes, she finds out that instead it is her ex-boyfriend; the very man she had tossed out of her apartment not long ago, and had told him not to return! She is visibly, and understandably, upset by this; all he does is laugh about it, and leave. As he exits her apartment and goes down the stairs, he passes and sneers at her new lover-to-be who is on his way up.
Was he wrong in his actions? Surely not, right? He was an ex-, after all. She didn't refuse or decline; in fact, she seemed to be into it at the time. This doesn't qualify as rape, does it??
What in this would possibly make this a rape situation? That she was sleeping? That, despite her groggy willingness, she would not have consented to this person?
These are certainly reasons that I'd agree with. The act presented is, in my mind, a disgusting violation of a person, both physically and mentally.
What would you like to see done to this guy - this violator? I'm sure that there's a variety of punishments that could be going through your head at the moment.
Here's the twist: what if the roles were reversed? What if it was a guy who'd been handcuffed to the bed? What if it was his ex-girlfriend who showed up at his place? Does that change your ideas about it? Does that make it different?
Society would seem to think so. The scene I described was taken from a movie I watched the other night - "40 days and 40 nights". There was no outcry from the public about this movie, no anger arose from seeing such an action. Somehow, I highly doubt that that scene would have been in such a light-hearted movie if it had been the other way around.
Yes, I understand that many guys wouldn't mind having some woman ride them and walk off ("yay, free lay!"), but in the given scenario, this was not the case. Here, the violator was allowed to walk away with no reprocussions; I'm willing to bet that many viewers didn't even think twice about that, beyond something akin to, "wow, what a bitch!"
I hate double-standards, and while I doubt that this "reverse-scenario" happens all that often, I know that it does happen. I know first-hand.
Me: "What kind of pop-up window was it? Was it an Internet Explorer window? Or did it say Windows Messaging?"
C: "It was a small, tiny window, about two inches by two inches, with some writing in it."
Me: "Oh, that'll do it... yep, thanks - I know exactly what kind of window that was now."